NewSong Bangkok Blog

Who's Your Jonathan: You need a true friend

We are all on a journey to get to what the book of Hebrews calls our "better city," the city of God. This is our true destination, our "promised land." As a child of God and a member of the family of God I find it fascinating to realize that I have been called at this particular time (2010) to this particular community of brothers and sisters (Newsong) and together we become part of each other's stories.

In this series we have tried to emphasize that we need a diverse group of best friends whose life stories, burdens and life experience intersect our stories and inspire and strengthen us to reach our final and right destination, that better city that the book of Hebrews tells us.

I love the fact that at least once a week we get to see each other in this Newsong Cave. The writer to Hebrews reminds us with this warning, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another..." bad habits are hard to break. As a fellow journeyer, I need to meet with my friends regularly.

But this coming together is more than doing our duty to god or having a break from our routine and to kill some time together.

This coming together is more than critiquing how well or poorly the worship team or speaker is doing that night.

The Story of Us

This coming together is an opportunity for us to celebrate what God is doing and to especially create relationships that go beyond the Saturday night or Sunday morning gathering. It's truly about transformation and investing in each other's lives. From my point of view, the more we get into each other lives the more we realize how unholy or unlike Jesus we are. So we are not satisfied to sit in a pew and be pew-potatoes (spectators.) We want to share our lives and our stories which, by the way, are not always victorious and glorious.

Relationships can be more crazy than cozy!  (LS)

True community is something you have to value and then be willing to fight for. In relationship we get to hear each other's stories. This is where we learn how to read each other. Then we can learn the ability to walk in forgiveness. In community we become ready and able to bring a simple word of encouragement because it can sometimes heal a wound.

This is where it can get a little messy. Investing into anything requires some risk and especially in terms of investing in human relationships. There are so many upsides to friendships, but the downsides seem to be greater at times. We are broken people trying to build relationships with other broken people. Don't let that discourage you from the delight of true friendship.  Jesus paid the highest compliment to his 12 disciples when he said, "You guys, I need you to know you are more than mere servants, I call you my friends!!!" Not long afterwards he is so disappointed in them and says, "When I needed you the most, why could you not pray with me for even a short while?" Yet he doesn't give up on these friends.

The English word human comes from the Latin word humus - soil, dirt and implies earthiness. As human beings we are common dirt enlivened by the breath of God (Genesis 2:7). (DBA)

My wife tells me that when she was growing up she loved to eat dirt. I've yet to see her do that. But I wouldn't be surprised if her favorite Charlie brown character is Pig Pen. But we do know some stuff about dirt don't we. In order for us to plant a tree you need to go deeper in the dirt. As Leonard Sweet reminds us, deepening relationships go downward. And when you go downward it is guaranteed sometimes you're going to get a little dirty. Plants don't grow heavenward without first growing downward. Colorful blossoms are the by-product of the down and dirty roots. Fruit comes from the roots.

Relationships that blossom are the ones that get down to the earthy dirt issues.

What if God was one of us?

And so God got his hands dirty in order to have a relationship with us. He rolls up his sleeves and takes the initiative and comes down to us and becomes human. Remember Henry Nouwen's famed phrase? Downward mobility. He keeps humbling himself even to the point of washing road travelled feet. No first-century Rabbi would touch dirty feet. But Jesus did in order to show his perfect and complete love for us.

Today we are talking about Indispensable relationships that you can't do without. These are your best friends. Scholars suggest that most of us are capable of knowing about 150 people. These are the people who you might sit down at a Starbucks and have a friendly chat over a latte and low-fat blueberry muffin... We need much more in life than eating muffins with this social network. We need a tight group of friends that realistically may not number more than 3-12 people. Not many. Who are these friends? Well, they are the kind of friends that if they go to the grave before you, you will definitely attend their funeral... and ball your eyes out. They have helped strengthen you, change you and inspired you.

Today I want to bring to our attention another kind of friendship we need in our lives. I guess you could call him or her a true friend.

You see the movie "The Fellowship of the Ring?" In it the hobbit Frodo Baggins sets out on a mission to destroy a magical ring in Mordor. Gandalf, the wizard, allows Frodo's best friend, Samwise Gamgee, to go along and Gandalf makes Samwise promise he will never leave Frodo. They become part of nine travelers known as "The Fellowship of the Ring." After barely escaping with their lives on several occasions, Frodo decides that it would be better for everyone if he finished the journey on his own.  When no is looking he commandeers a boat and launches into the water.

To know what happens, click on this link:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9QeXyD49YI

That Samwise was a true friend of Frodo. The greatest reason why Frodo got to his destination correctly was because of Samwise.

You need a true friend.

Our story today has to do with the guy Bono called the "Elvis" of the Bible and who most  influenced his songwriting in his formative years; King David. David had a friendship that is perhaps the most famous friendship in Christian history.

"Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself." (1 Samuel 18:1, NASB)

Interesting words here: "knitted at the soul." Inseparable friends. Lifelong friends.

This friendship was not based on "I'll be your friend "if"... This was not a performance-based friendship. I have had a few of those. They make you feel humiliated when they give out the conditions of their way to help you.

Or I'll be your friend because... Thais have a word called Boon-Khoon. It basically says, "Because you helped me, I now owe you one." Or worse, "Because I have done a favour for you, I'll expect you to do the same for me." Conditional.

This was an unconditional friendship.

Here's some further insight into Jonathan. You need to know that he was a mighty warrior and a God-lover and the son of King Saul, Israel's first King.  Some words that could describe Jonathan are generous, gallant, loyal, sympathetic and valiant.

And so Jonathan had just seen David step out on a battlefield, where no one else would step out, fight a giant that no one else would fight and he did it for one reason - his incredible love and trust in God.  Jonathan saw something in David that that resonated deeply in his own heart.

You know Jonathon could have been seriously jealous of David just like his dad, king Saul. In fact Jonathan was slated to be the next king. Jonathan had status and power and the options. He had nothing to gain in becoming David's friend. There was the risk that if he became David's friend his father would be mighty upset! In fact two chapters later his father in a fit of rage because of Jonathan's friendship with David, calls him the son of a whore, hurls his spear at Jonathan intending to kill him. Jonathan knew then and there that his father was on a mission to kill David for sure.

Yet Jonathan remained loyal to David and gets to David as fast as he can and lets him know what his dad is going to do. Over and over again we see the loyalty and love that these two men had for each other.

Again, the thing I really need you to see here is that this friendship was more than simply an emotional response based on admiration; it was a spiritual or supernatural meeting of souls.  They both would change each other's lives and bring about god's destiny. In fact, the name Jonathan means, Jehovah has given!" God gave David a Jonathan to help him reach his destination. These guys would do more than sip lattes, chat guy talk and play video games. This was so much deeper than just one of the 150 social acquaintances. It was a God-thing.

You can find out for yourself in verse 3 and 4.

 "Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt." (I Samuel 18:3-4, NASB)

Imagine the scene as the crown prince strips and gives David his weapons and clothes. There he is standing in only his undergarments. He's placed his royal robe over the shoulders of a young shepherd boy. How thrilled Jonathan seemed to be to find a friend.

This is an incredible display of sacrifice and commitment to David and symbolic of saying, "I'm giving up the throne to you and I will be your friend who fights for and with you."

"Jonathon loved David as himself."

• A Jonathon is a true friend.
• A Jonathon is loyal even when you make it hard to be loyal.
• A Jonathon is the first to call in good and bad times.
• A Jonathon walks with you in all seasons, like the winter of your discontent, when gloom settles over you like a fog around your soul and nothing can be done until it lifts.
• A Jonathon won't let you surrender to your dark side.
• A Jonathon keeps you in check when you want what you can't have.
• A Jonathon grants you grace when you take him for granted.
• A Jonathon defends your life's meaning when your life has no meaning.
• A Jonathon sacrifices for you, even knowing, as the original Jonathon knew, that the more your song rises, the more his or her own song fades in the background.

A Jonathan may very well be the scarcest species on earth.

Conclusion:

David would have been dead if there was no Jonathan in his story. When david was at his lowest, Jonathan was often there to encourage him and pray for him. "There is a phrase that appears several times in the conversations between David and Jonathan. We read: ‘the Lord between you and me,' ‘the Lord watch between you and me,' ‘the Lord judge between you and me.'

In a nutshell, that's the key to friendship - the Lord between us!

So today, get this important lesson: Always remember that you cannot choose who your loyal friends will be, but you can choose to be a loyal friend to others.  You can choose to be a friend; you cannot choose to have a friend. 

Be a scarce but true friend that sticks closer than a brother.